It seems that every day, we are reminded of how people are becoming more intolerant, aggressive, and unkind. The other day, a young fella in a car behind me was becoming impatient at my persistence to stick to the speed limit. He sped around me, ran a red light, and nearly collected a pedestrian on the bonnet of his car. I caught up with him at the next traffic light. Was it really necessary to become so aggressive and impatient?
Anger is a normal human emotion. It is not ‘bad’. However, sometimes we make poor choices when we are angry.
Sustained anger is no good for you or anybody else. The stress and strain that anger causes in your brain and body affects your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing, and it damages relationships.
Children learn from our example. When we yell or hit, children learn that yelling or hitting is the way to manage conflict. Children are not born with conflict resolution skills. They learn them from us, which means we have to teach conflict resolution skills to our kids and more importantly we have to role model them.
Most child behaviour does not require an immediate response from you. You can take the time to centre yourself by breathing and grounding yourself before you choose to respond (rather than react).
If your child is about to walk in front of a car or hit her brother on the head with a truck, feel free to react quickly, but this doesn’t need to be done in a mean or aggressive way either.
The skills that all humans need to learn to get along better with others includes: managing strong emotions; calming down; assertiveness; and problem solving.
If you are really struggling with strong emotions, I have started a Mindful Parenting series on the blog https://handsheartsminds.wordpress.com/category/mindful-parenting/
Article Written + Submitted by
Narelle Smith (Family Worker) Nepean Community + Neighbourhood Services
P: 47218520 E: narelle@nepeancommunity.org.au FaceBook: Parenting in Penrith